Don't Settle for Mediocre Sex: Make it More Enjoyable With Our Tips for Spicing Up Your Sex Life

Your son threw up at school… again.

Your boss is on your back for every little thing. You’re not sure how you’re going to pay to fix your minivan. You have a LOT of things on your mind — and sex isn’t one of them.

Your sizzle has officially started to fizzle. 

And let’s face it, the bathroom quickies are getting old. Could this be the end of your sex life?

Absolutely not. 

Like everything else in life, you just need to put a little effort in. Try our 14 tips for how to make sex more enjoyable — you can thank us later. 

to make sex more enjoyable

Table of Contents

Are There Ways to Make Sex More Enjoyable?

Forget the rumors. Enjoyable sex doesn’t just happen for everyone. 

It’s not about how much chemistry you have or how in love you are; sex can take just as much work as any other part of a relationship.

Whether you’ve been married 20 years or just started dating, spicing up your sex life can be done when partners take the time to communicate with respect and love.

Taking the time to get to know your partner and their needs is great, but it’s also super important to know your own needs. 

You don’t need to buy expensive lingerie or have the flexibility of a yoga master to make sex good. All you need is an open mind and the willingness to put the work in.

14 Tips for Adding Some Sizzle to Your Sex Life

At Chiavaye, we know how to make sex more pleasurable — so we’re going to share our secrets with you. We’ve compiled a list of fourteen ways to add a little spice to your sex life.

#1: Communicate

Communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship, yet so many couples don’t talk about sex. 

But, if you’re looking to improve both the quality and the quantity of sex you’re having, you’re going to need to open up about it.

Let your partner know how often you would like to have sex — and be realistic — because three times a day isn’t feasible for most couples. However, two to three times a week may be a reasonable and attainable request that your partner is more than willing to satisfy.

Directing your partner to what pleases you the most is also really important. Yeah, it’s awkward at first. Maybe you’ve never tried “talking dirty” or don’t want to ruin the moment by giving a tutorial — we get it — but trust us, it will help!

Try talking about what you like in between your bedroom sessions. And if it’s not quite what you want when the time comes, take your partner by the hand — literally — and show them what you like.

#2: Take It Slow

Do you find yourself skipping the foreplay and going right for that orgasm? It might seem like a good idea at the time, but foreplay could be the single best way to improve your sexual experience.

Slow it down, and remember, sex is meant to be enjoyed using all five of your senses. Touch, taste, listen, observe, and inhale all that is happening in the moment. 

#3: Accept Your Body (and Your Partner’s)

Do you keep your t-shirt on during sex? Maybe you limit the parts of your body your partner is allowed to touch. Or perhaps you feel ashamed that you haven’t lost that baby weight yet.

Remember one thing — every single body changes. When you wake up 20 years from now, you might not recognize your body, but it’s still you.

Whether you have scars, sagging skin, or wrinkles in places you didn’t know you could get wrinkles, you only ever have one body — so cherish it.

Hiding your body will only prevent you from experiencing full sexual pleasure. 

And remember to let your partner know how much you love and appreciate their body and the pleasure it gives you. 

#4: Plan Ahead for Birth Control

You’re almost there… almost there… ALMOST THERE… and then your partner stops. What happened?

Interrupting an orgasm to put a rubber on it is a surefire way to kill the mood. Talk to your partner about your preferred method of contraception and be ready. 

With so many options on the market today, there’s really no excuse not to be prepared — or miss out on any more orgasms, for that matter!

And let’s not forget about STIs. There’s absolutely nothing that could kill the mood any more than sexually transmitted diseases and infections. 

From condoms to the pill to IUDs, you have many options to choose from. 

#5: Don’t Skip the Lube

The misconception that women should always self-lubricate has probably led to a lot of painful sex. The fact is, many women experience dryness due to medical conditions, menopause, or lack of sex drive.

This is completely normal. But it doesn’t mean sex shouldn’t happen.

Lubrication reduces uncomfortable friction, but the last thing you want is for your lube to leave lasting discomfort.

Many lubrication products on the market claim to have warming, cooling, or flavor as an added bonus. But these chemicals can cause some serious irritation. Not exactly what you want when trying to increase sexy time with your partner.

Try an all-natural, hypoallergenic lube like Chiavaye, instead. Chiavaye was formulated with vaginal health in mind and contains only six ingredients designed to hydrate and nourish delicate skin.

Chiavaye can be used on your bare skin, condoms, and even sex toys. So lube up and get busy!  

enjoyable sex

#6: Only Do What You’re Comfortable With  

Figuring out how to make sex more enjoyable shouldn’t make you uncomfortable in the meantime.

You wouldn’t let someone pressure you into cliff jumping if you’re afraid of heights or watching a horror movie if it’s going to give you nightmares — so why let your partner convince you to do anything sexual that makes you uncomfortable?

Not only can this drive a wedge between you and your partner, but it can be a major turn-off of sex altogether.

Talk to your partner about boundaries. As trust is built in the relationship, you may open your mind to some of your partner’s suggestions.

#7: Try Aphrodisiac Foods 

Are you someone who enjoys a little guilty treat once in a while? Do you like to indulge in delectable desserts?

What if we told you there’s a whole other way to enjoy food for pleasure — and we’re not talking about your taste buds.

Aphrodisiac foods have been used for centuries to stimulate libido and enhance sexual performance.

Some of these foods include:

  • Chocolate
  • Ginseng
  • Honey
  • Avocado
  • Chili pepper
  • Oysters
  • Strawberries; and
  • Nuts 

But do they really work? Absolutely.

Ginseng, for example, has been used to enhance libido and copulatory performance in men, while chocolate is known to improve your mood — and let’s be real, you’ve got to be in the mood when it comes to sex.

#8: Make It a Date 

As “unsexy” as it may seem, scheduling your sexual activities will remind both you and your partner to prioritize sexual intimacy and each other.

You can build up sexual anticipation by whispering naughty thoughts or sending suggestive texts in the days leading up to your date.

Whether you set specific times each week, or you change it up, be sure to circle those dates and get ready for some fun.

#9: Go Toy Shopping

If you’ve never explored a sex shop, you may feel a little out of place at first. But, the good news is that sex shops have toys for every level of sexual play. If it’s really uncomfortable, you can always order sex toys online.

Vibrators and dildos are among the more popular sex toys as they are designed to increase sexual stimulation and add pleasure in a way that’s impossible for a human to do.

If you’re not comfortable trying toys with your partner, you can first try one on yourself to make sure you like the sensation.

Nearly half of women are using sex toys, and most of these women are in relationships, so they must be doing something right! 

#10: Take Your Age Seriously 

As we age, it’s normal to have aches and pains, less flexibility, and a slower libido. Some medications may even have sexual side effects.

To be frank, you may not have the same stamina and desire you once did, and that’s okay.

Check in with your partner to make sure they’re still enjoying sex. Communication is key to ensuring you both have your needs met and are physically comfortable with everything you’re doing.

how to make sex more enjoyable

#11: Create the Mood

Does your bedroom double as your office? Are the kid’s toys and books sprawled across every room in the house? Does your dog take up more room in the bed than your partner?

Then it might be time to revitalize your bedroom! 

We’re not talking total renovation here, we’re just suggesting that you tidy up your space and make it a little sexier.

Turn off your screens and notifications. Put the toys away. Freshen up the bed sheets. Heck, light a few candles!

Removing life distractions and creating a more romantic space is sometimes all you need to get in the mood.

#12: Try New Positions 

We’re not suggesting you join a circus camp to learn about acrobatics, but you can definitely spice things up in the bedroom by skipping missionary and trying something new.

Not sure where to start?

The Kamasutra is a great place to start for easy and pleasant positions that any couple can try. You can also try Googling sex positions, but if you share a computer with your kids, be sure to erase your history!

Trying something new always keeps things interesting, but don’t worry if certain positions don’t work out for you and your partner. Keep trying and you’ll surely find a few favorites.

#13: Keep Your Pelvic Floor in Shape 

Nearly 50% of women are dissatisfied with how often they reach orgasm. That’s a staggering number of sexually frustrated women!

But did you know that could be a solution that you can do anytime and anywhere?

It’s true! Doing regular Kegel exercises can make it easier for women to orgasm.

They engage your pelvic floor muscles, keeping them healthy and helping to enhance sex by increasing sexual arousal and lubrication.

If you’re not sure how to do Kegel exercises, click here for a quick tutorial. 

#14: Cultivate Intimacy Outside the Bedroom

Fostering intimacy outside the bedroom can mean spending more time enjoying each other’s company. Building a trusting and meaningful relationship can take away from the anxiety or nerves you may have about having the perfect sex life.

Wanting more and better sex may be the end goal, but what you get when you focus your energy on building your emotional intimacy is a relationship that is rich in many ways.

Or… and hear us out…

You could focus on cultivating intimacy outside the bedroom by actually getting intimate outside of the bedroom.

A change of scenery or a little bit of spontaneity is a good thing! You don’t need to feel confined to your bedroom, why not take it to the shower, couch, or desktop?

You can get creative while remaining discrete and adding a fun new element to your sex life.

sex more enjoyable

Chiavaye Personal Moisturizer and Lube: Because Everybody Deserves Great Sex

At Chiavaye, we care about how to make sex more enjoyable for both partners — because everyone deserves to have great sex.

Our personal lubrication was formulated specifically with you and your most tender bits in mind. 

Using only six natural, gentle ingredients, we developed lubrication that won’t irritate your sensitive skin. It’s …

  • Chemical-free 
  • Fragrance-free
  • Paraben-free; and 
  • Hormone-free

… and it’s gynecologist approved. Chiavaye provides natural relief from friction, dryness, and sexual discomfort so you can learn to enjoy sex again.

Our lubrication is never sticky and it can be used on bare skin, sex toys, or non-latex condoms.

Stressing over how to make sex more enjoyable ends today when you visit our website or visit a local retailer for your bottle of Chiavaye.

enjoyable sex

The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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