One of the hardest things about going through menopause is how it can affect your sex drive and how sex feels.
Up to 60% of postmenopausal women have vaginal dryness, which can make sex painful and frustrating.
Not only that, but women can have a hard time climaxing, decreased sex drive, and more (we share real statistics below).
But, thankfully, there are things that you can do to make your sex life healthy and satisfying during and after menopause.
We give some helpful menopause sex tips in this article.
Sex Drive After Menopause
Here’s the hard truth about menopause:
It can reduce your sex drive.
We know that it’s a hard thing to accept - but there’s a good chance it’ll affect you.
Less than 50% of postmenopausal women were sexually active. And less than 50% had sex less than 2 times per month.
Here’s the thing, though:
Sex drive is not a static thing. It’s fluid and changes over time.
But, it gets even more interesting than that.
There is recent research that shows that women can potentially influence their own sex drive by doing certain things.
So, what can you do to potentially increase your sex drive?
- Managing depression or mental health symptoms. Treating those often increases sex drive.
- Herbs that are known to increase sex drive.
- Certain exercises.
- Masturbating on a regular basis.
- And more
Menopause sex statistics
There are some interesting statistics out there.
Before you read the statistics, it’s important to remember something:
You can influence your sex drive. And you can influence your menopause symptoms.
So, these statistics do not have to define you.
- 83% of women find it difficult to climax.
- 87% of women show a decrease (either minor or major) in sex drive.
- 71% of women have some sort of discomfort during sex.
- 74% have vaginal dryness during sex.
What to do about vaginal dryness:
Vaginal dryness can be extremely uncomfortable (and painful) during sex.
But, there are some things that you can do to positively influence natural lubrication or use healthy personal moisturizers/lubricants during sex.
- Masturbate regularly: Masturbation increases blood flow to your vaginal tissues. By using a vibrator regularly, you can increase your natural lubrication.
- Eat a healthy diet: Eating processed, unhealthy foods have the potential to negatively influence your natural lubrication. Your body is interconnected.
- Using a healthy, chemical-free sex lubricant can make sex more comfortable while also nourishing your vaginal skin.
Try some of these things out and see if they can help you like they’ve helped thousands of women.
What to do about painful sex:
Dyspareunia (or painful sex) can happen during menopause.
The protocol in the section above (titled “what to do about vaginal dryness”) also can make sex less painful.
Try implementing the strategies above to see if they help with dyspareunia.
Mindfulness for menopause:
You’re probably thinking:
I’m not some hippy that will do yoga and say ‘om’ while banging on drums.
But, that’s not what we’re talking about here. Just hear us out.
There was a study that found that “midlife women with higher mindfulness scores experienced fewer menopausal symptoms,"
And yes, some of those menopause symptoms that women face are 1) lower sex drive, 2) vaginal dryness, and 3) painful sex.
There are other studies out there, like this one, that share the positive benefits of mind-body therapies on menopause symptoms.
What is mindfulness and how do you do it?
It doesn’t have to be formal meditation...
- Exercising regularly can be a form of mindfulness
- Downloading a meditation app like Headspace.
- Doing yoga.
- Breathing exercises.
- And more.
Can a woman have an orgasm after menopause?
Sure, it’s true that women going through menopause, or who have completely gone through menopause, can experience more difficulty orgasming, it taking longer to orgasm, and more.
But, that doesn’t mean that your ability to orgasm will go away.
Women can definitely still orgasm after going through menopause.
Menopause and divorce statistics - is it due to less sex?
“Many men blame lack of sex as the leading reason for midlife divorce” according to this article.
But, there is no real data out there that shows that menopause leads to divorce. Or that menopause leads to divorce because of a lack of sex.
Menopause hornier… Is that even possible?
Remember what we said earlier?
Sexual desire, or libido, is fluid. It can go up. It can go down.
And, every woman is different.
So, some women will actually have an increase in libido during and after menopause. It’s totally natural and does not mean anything is wrong.
Menopause tips for husbands
Here are a couple of tips that husbands, or partners, can use during menopause:
- Be there during the ups and downs. There’s a chance that your wife or partner can get emotional. Just be there for her in those moments.
- Be patient during sex. She might not be in the mood. And that’s okay.
- Make her feel as beautiful as possible. It’s not uncommon for women to feel like they’re gaining weight, looking old, or not feeling sexy. Tell her, and show her, how beautiful you think she is.
Does sperm help menopause?
This is a really interesting question.
And, I don’t think there’s conclusive evidence. But, there are researchers out there looking into it.
A recent study (conducted on lesbians) “compared women who typically used condoms or had no intercourse, to women whose vaginas were regularly exposed to semen.”
And, surprisingly, the data found that women who were exposed to semen had fewer signs of depression and were in a better mood.
Now, this data is DEFINITELY not conclusive. And, honestly, we don’t really believe it has much weight at all.
But, it is interesting.