Motherhood And Sex Drive: Everything You Need To Know

Having a child is such a wonderful thing a woman can experience: it certainly has its joys and its equal share of difficulties. 

The many little demands new moms face every single day can be both rewarding and exhausting.

Mothers have one of the hardest jobs of all - they don’t run short of a never-ending series of responsibilities which can affect them emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Sex isn’t the same as it used to be.

Exhaustion and stress affect the mood, which can lead to decreased sex drive… and that’s not good for the ever-busy moms experiencing this.

And just because you have kids doesn’t mean you can’t experience the highs of intimacy once again.

This is one of the dilemmas in many moms that can be resolved so they can stay healthy, AND enjoy sex like the way it used to be.

This guide will shed more light on bringing back your energy and sex drive, getting past the discomfort and pain during sex in first-time moms.

Decreased Sex Drive After Childbirth

Some mothers experience low levels of sex drive. A recent study shows that:

  • 15% of postpartum women experience difficulty and discomfort in sex.
  • Tiredness always tops their list as the reason for low sex drive.
  • More than 20% of women feel awkwardness during sex after giving birth.

It sounds like the kind of discomfort that can be easily resolved overnight, but not really.

But, there are ways to manage discomfort and pain during sex, and it’s very important that you understand the causes.

Postpartum Sex - Why Is It Painful?

Not all women share and experience the same physiological function. Some lose interest in physical intimacy during the postpartum period, and some just don’t.

In fact, many moms never experience pain during intercourse. 

Don’t allow yourself to shy away from sex because of pain. 

We at Chiavaye don’t claim to be experts in the medical field, but we can provide helpful insights on why postpartum sex is painful.

Here’s why:

1. Dyspareunia

This defines the painful sensation that you, along with other moms feel during sex. 

Nearly a third of those breastfeeding at 6 months reported dyspareunia” according to a recent study. 

It’s a fairly common condition among women that is associated with motherhood and menopause. 

Dyspareunia may feel like: 

  • The feeling of rubbing the skin, to where it feels raw during penetration
  • Throbbing and burning sensation

2. Vaginal Dryness

The vaginal area is made up of thick skin, also called "vaginal walls." These walls have the function of producing fluids that make sex more comfortable.

These walls gradually lose their thickness, so the process decreases the production of these fluids that also act as a natural lubricant.

Not having enough natural lubricant causes the vaginal walls to become drier and become thin which makes penetration feel painful and uncomfortable.

3. Breastfeeding

Lactation is a process in which the mother’s mammary glands produce milk to breastfeed - from the moment she gives birth until the child is old enough to wean.

The hormones that are responsible for milk production also affect the uterus, which inhibits the production of fluids (or natural lubricants) in the vaginal area.

That’s because:

A woman’s estrogen and progesterone levels decrease, similar to the way they change during menopause

The sudden change in hormone levels can cause:

  •  Atrophic vaginitis, which causes vaginal inflammation
  •  Feeling sore
  •  Itching
  •  Dryness

The longer a mom breastfeeds, low levels of estrogen remain that way.

So, that simply means she won’t be able to produce enough arousal fluids during sex - estrogen in its low level makes that highly possible, causing her to feel dryness.

What Can You Do About Discomfort and Pain During Sex?

motherhood and sex - how to navigate

Small levels (to none) of vaginal lubrication is often the culprit in bringing discomfort and pain during sex. 

This happens in some new moms.

But, there are ways to relieve pain and discomfort.

Postpartum Exercises To Relieve Pain and Discomfort:

1. Swimming

2. Brisk walking

3. Kegels Exercise

Natural Remedies To Stimulate Sexual Response:

1. Masturbation (helps produce arousal fluids which act as a natural lubricant)

2. Using lightweight, all-natural made lube (choose one that is free of industrial chemicals in it)

Decreased Sex Drive - Will It Happen To Me After Childbirth?

Decreased sex drive is pretty common after giving birth that can go on for weeks or months, even.

A lot of new moms experience reduced sex drive because of parenting duties and other responsibilities.

You disconnected to your partner.

Postpartum hormonal changes can result in mood swings.

Your lack of interest in intimacy with a partner can seriously affect the relationship.

Also, it can lower self-confidence.

That, and more.

But, here's the best part: you can increase your sex drive and get things back on track again.

How Can You Increase Your Sex Drive Postpartum?

There are many ways that you can increase your sex drive after giving birth. 

Remember, sex drive is not a constant thing. After having children, your sex drive might fluctuate - it might decrease for a bit of time, but that doesn’t mean that it’ll never go back up.

Here are some ways that have been shown to increase sex drive in postpartum women:

1. Reducing Stress Can Improve Sex Drive

Childbirth and attending to the baby’s needs can be challenging, and taking some time out for your mind and body to recuperate is a must.

Have someone (family member, friend, or a nurse) to help look after your baby so your body can keep up with that much-needed rest.

There are more ways you can reduce stress, like:

  • Exercise
  • Meditate
  • Eat healthy

2. Getting More Sleep and Taking Time to Relax Can Increase Sex Drive

You’ll exhaust yourself from trying to accomplish everything at home. But, what can you do about it - stuff HAS to get done. 

Getting sleep is one of the biggest challenges that new moms face. And prioritizing sleep is important. If you have some time to sleep during the day, then do it. 

This will give you more energy for sex.

3. Use A Skin-Friendly, All-natural Lubricant to Increase Sex Drive

As mentioned earlier, decreased sex drive due to vaginal dryness can be resolved. 

Sex after giving birth may cause pain and discomfort, but a lubricant that is pure, pH-free and naturally made can help you get back the pleasure you’ve lost.