Postpartum Sex Pain: Understanding Why it Happens and Tips How To Get Back To Enjoying Your Sex Life

You’ve been given the OK to have sex again. Oh, how you have missed that connection and release.

Yet now, it isn’t the same, and you don’t understand why.

You were starting to feel like your old self, but then you realized it feels different down there.

You’ve never felt so sore after having sex — until now.  Maybe it’s uncomfortable the entire time you’re trying to shake the sheets, and you can’t help but think, “This can’t be normal.” 

Trust me; it’s not. Sex should never hurt. 

Now, you’re searching the internet for resources and ways to make sex less painful after giving birth. You want to enjoy your moments with your partner again, not be stressed.  

I’ve done the research and am here to help you learn how to get the heat back between the sheets. It is time to enjoy sex again!

make sex less painful

Table of Contents

Is it Common for Sex To Be Painful After Giving Birth? 

Unfortunately, painful sex after childbirth is more common than some women might think. 

A study shows that 89% of women start back with sexual activity in their lives within six months of having a baby. It is common to start knocking boots again three to four months after giving birth. 

Researchers found that almost nine in ten women feel pain the first time they have sex after childbirth. 

Additionally, 25% report still having pain during sex 18 months after starting to be intimate again. Also, it didn’t seem to matter when they resumed sexual interaction; pain during that first time back occurred across the board.

What Causes Pain During Sex After Giving Birth?

Painful sex can happen for many reasons, and the first step is to figure out why you’re feeling pain after having a baby. 

Once you figure out why it’s happening, you can work to find ways to make sex after giving birth less painful.

To figure out what’s happening and why you may feel pain during sex after having a baby, ask yourself if you: 

  • Are experiencing hormonal changes. Lower levels of estrogen can lead to vaginal dryness.
  • Tore or underwent an episiotomy. Now you have scar tissues that can cause pain. Be sure to heal your tear or stitches completely before being penetrated. 
  • Had a c-section, which is a major surgery. A c-section cuts through seven layers of your body. You must allow time for your body to heal both physically and emotionally. 
  • Are exhausted. Being tired makes you feel off and can lower your libido. Not having as much desire for sex can cause some pain.
  • Breastfeed your baby. Breastfeeding also causes lower estrogen levels, making your vagina drier. Hormones associated with breastfeeding can also inhibit dopamine; therefore, you may not get as aroused as you used to.. 
  • Have hypertonicity of the pelvic floor. This condition means that you can feel tender spots in your pelvic floor, which can result in penetration aggravating these areas. 
  • Feel emotionally distressed. Having a baby is hard; it is a HUGE change. And often, birth can have traumatic components. Physiological issues can come into play and create pain during sex.
postpartum painful sex

How Do I Make Sex Better After Having a Baby? 

These recommendations can help: 

  • take things slowly, connect to your body and follow its cues; your body may not be as ready as your mind.
  • Start with foreplay to help get you wet.
  • Use a natural lube, like Chiavaye, to combat vaginal dryness.
  • Do Kegels.
  • Communicate openly with your partner.
  • Schedule sexy time.

Life gets busy, especially after your baby arrives. Just because things are different doesn’t mean they aren’t good! Now is the time to reconnect with yourself and your body. 

make sex less painful after birth

9 Tips on How To Make Sex Less Painful After Giving Birth

#1: Take It Slow

Listen to your physicians. There is a reason they tell you to wait to resume sexual intercourse. Once you are ready to start, don’t rush it. Slowing down and listening to your body will make it more enjoyable.

Sex doesn’t only mean penetration. 

There are so many options. Remember:

  • Foreplay is your friend 
  • Oral sex can be pleasurable for both parties 
  • Anal sex is another option you have
  • Masturbation can help 

There are many ways to take it slow. And it doesn’t have to involve literally taking it slow during sex. Here are some ideas:

  1. Start caressing yourself, or ask your partner for help! Chiavaye can also be used all over your body, so give yourself a rubdown with the all-natural, vegan lube and moisturizer. 
  2. Wear underwear or lingerie that makes you feel sexy. You may have to buy something new, and that is OK. 
  3. Remember, sexy is an energy, not a body type! Take time to connect to your feelings, your body, and your partner.

Sexual pain can come from physical issues or can stem from psychological concerns. Taking action at a slow, comfortable speed is an excellent way to start.

#2: Use Lubrication

Hormonal changes are common after giving birth; your body just grew a whole other person. That is BIG. 

Sometimes all you need is a little lubrication to get comfortable during sex.

Through their research, La Leche League, whose mission is to support breastfeeding mothers worldwide, reports that low estrogen levels are typical in postpartum and breastfeeding mothers. These low levels can cause dryness, tenderness, or tightness in the vagina. 

Lubrication may also help if you’ve torn due to birth and have scarring. 

There is no better lube than Chiavaye. It’s a product that is pure, natural, and designed to heal.

Not only can this lube keep your vagina healthy, but it can reduce pain during sex and makes an excellent massage oil to warm things up in the bedroom. 

If you are suffering from pain during sex, consider ordering Chiavaye today. After all, moms deserve great sex! Don’t forget that.

make sex less painful after birth

#3: Try Different Positions

Your body changes after birth. Sometimes, switching up positions can make you feel ten times better during sex. It may be time to research and buy a book about sexual positions to learn new things and add variety to your sex life.

The website What to Expect suggests having sex with the woman on top or side-to-side since these positions put less pressure on areas that may be tender. 

Talk with your partner about where you’re feeling the pain. If one position is too much, try another. Remember to take it slow and never be afraid to speak up if something feels uncomfortable. 

#4: Don’t Be Afraid To Talk With Your Partner

Getting comfortable can also make a huge difference in your sexual connection. If you have anxiety about potential pain during sex, it can make things worse. 

Talk with your partner, let them know what’s going on, and think of ways to make you more comfortable. 

If you think something is wrong with you for not wanting sex, remember that is not true. There is NOTHING wrong with you.

Opening up about your feelings by sharing with your partner can lead to better communication and may help you relax, allowing sex to come more naturally. 

Your partner may not know that when your body changes after childbirth, your hormone levels also change. In addition, when producing breast milk, the prolactin level in your body increases when your baby suckles. High prolactin levels can result in having a low libido and vaginal dryness. It’s not you, or them, causing the dryness. 

Sharing with your partner that you may not be in the mood and talking about some of these bodily changes could help you both be on the same page, which may lead to more comfort in the bedroom. 

how to make sex less painful

#5: Try Pelvic Floor Therapy

About 20% of first-time mothers have a severe pelvic floor muscle injury, even though they had a normal pregnancy and delivery. It makes sense that the muscles, tissue, and ligaments that keep your pelvic organs in place are affected during pregnancy and childbirth. 

Trying pelvic floor therapy can help. 

During pelvic floor therapy, physical therapists may:

  • Give pelvic floor massages
  • Share relaxation techniques
  • Show you exercises that make your core stronger

#6: Help Yourself Relax Before Sex

Sexual dysfunction can result from when you suffer from performance anxiety. Therefore, it is essential to relax when the time comes to have sex. It can make all the difference in how you feel during sex. 

You can do things to relax and feel more in the mood. Do something not only to relax your body but also to relax your brain.

You can try:

  • Taking a warm bath
  • Practicing self-care
  • Reading a book
  • Listening to music
  • Exercising
  • Meditating
  • Taking deep conscious belly breaths
  • Stretching 

#7: Use Over-the-Counter Pain Medication

Taking over-the-counter pain medication, such as Tylenol or Ibuprofen, before or after sex may help reduce pain/discomfort. 

In addition, some topical medications may also help. For example, you may find relief  using ospemifene (Osphena) or prasterone (Intrarosa).

Always talk with your doctor to discuss the best route when deciding which medication to take. Never use a topical medication without consulting your doctor. 

#8: Try Perineal Massage

Your perineal is a small, sensitive area between your anus and vaginal opening. It is full of sensation and is the same area where men can have a prostate orgasm. You both can benefit from these types of massages.

What are the benefits of perineal massage?

Perineal massages can:

  • Increase blood flow in that part of your body
  • Reduce the stiffness of scar tissue
  • Help the skin around that part of your body stretch 
  • Lower your risk of tearing if you do it before childbirth
  • Be a way to be intimate without intercourse

#9: Set the Mood

Setting the mood can help you enjoy sex more.

Schedule sex, prepare for it, and romance yourselves.

Setting the mood can help you get more comfortable and ease the stress and anxiety you might feel when dealing with pain during sex. 

Here are my top tips for setting the mood:

  • Lower the lights
  • Light candles
  • Clean and organize your space
  • Wear sexy underwear or lingerie 
  • Make eye contact with your partner
  • Decide what your intentions are 
  • Tell your partner what you want
  • Send sexy notes, pictures, or nudes beforehand
  • Make your bed with satin sheets
  • Dance together

If You’re Experiencing Pain During Sex After Giving Birth, Try Chiavaye 

Sex should be an enjoyable part of your life. So when you experience pain, the whole sex vibe changes, and not for the better.

Thankfully, Chiavaye is here to help ease pain and kick things up a notch sexually!

Chiavaye is a personal moisturizer and vegan sex lube that helps women with endometriosis or menopause, as well as new moms and any woman that wants a safe, chemical-free lube. 

Moms also deserve great sex. If you are not enjoying sex, it is time to rewrite your story. You are a mom, but you can also be a sexual woman who prioritizes her physical and emotional needs, is confident in her skin, and loves herself. 

Chiavaye is all-natural and made with no fillers or toxic ingredients. It is consciously made to benefit women, not create more harm, risk, or pain. Using Chiavaye is a form of self-care.

make sex less painful after birth

The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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